animatedsmoke | (no subject)

(no subject)

Who: Ky Kiske, Potemkin
What: New York New York
When: AU (Carvaka + Fables/The Wolf Among Us)
Where: New York

After so much struggle and work to force change on the universe, to have it show some acknowledgement to their efforts or make the barest turn toward their survival, it was change that came on them instead. Like an interstellar probe finding a star among millions, without any foreshadowing or warning a single dimension made itself known to discovery, and that was the moment when the inhabitants of Between found a world that had survived the death of the universe. At last there was some place that didn't resist life to exist on it, or resent it. The planet was alive, populated, growing, and distinctively Earth. But it was still not their Earth, and one could feel the difference with every moment taken in it. It was palpable in the air breathed, the sunlight felt, the mood of the sky. That was before even including interacting with the inhabitants, who turned out to be separate down to the physical definition of humanity.

It's not what anyone wanted. It's not what anyone asked or wished or dreamed for. But it is new chance, a fresh start, and in its purity of experience it is unfamiliar to everyone, which is both terrifying and equalizing.

Ultimately the tantalizing possibilities outweigh the undesirables. No one could bring themselves to refuse the hand. After years of waiting, the confidence had been instilled that nothing better would come, and that this escape was truly the chance of a lifetime. With the deal made, now they must deal with it.

________________

Potemkin throws a bus schedule or four on the nearest flat surface in front of Ky, the folded paper making a slap on the speckled plastic table that is audible even among the incessant sound of traffic outside. Potemkin doesn't add any words to his offering, expecting that the noise will get Ky to look up from whatever he's doing, and makes his way to the refrigerator. He had gone through a bureaucratic ordeal today, and these pieces from a Take One bin are the most significant fruits of his labor. Potemkin has a deep well of patience, but he seeks to refill it when it's drunk from.

It would be a miracle if Potemkin could fit in any form of public transportation (that isn't airship), but as shown by his flippancy he didn't pick those up for himself. Ky Kiske looks normal, at least, he will be able to pick up work, and look through both Fable and Mundie employers to do it (and maybe even someday hold a political position in Fabletown). A job anywhere in this city means some sort of commute. As for Potemkin, who stood out even in the world he was born in, he'll figure it out on his own.

Not that he has all the time in the world to do that, rent comes in a month.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I was only thinking of the light," Potemkin says sheepishly. "It's a skill I developed over my time in the army. The trick is to focus on only one thing, until you lose of track of the time," Potemkin says. Potemkin would never speak poorly of his job in Zepp, he could proclaim his elation and pride at any prompting, but by nature there were inevitably periods where it could get...boring.

Like the proverbial watched pot, the signal changes just when Potemkin isn't looking at it. He's alerted despite that because the crowd around and behind him moved on before he does. It's like a shove on the back, even if it's too chaotic to pinpoint out a shover, and Potemkin ends up shocked again in quick succession.

"Hmmpf! Excuse me!"

Ky was about to chuckle when the crowd of pedestrians began to lurch forward. The citizens of New York City are apparently moving on, with or without them. Barely anyone even looks at them, save for a few giving them strange looks for the outburst, too focused on minding their own business so others could mind theirs.

Ky just isn't the type. When scowling at the crowd proves futile, he reaches out to hold Potemkin's arm and steady the taller man.

"This way, come now." His voice is low and hopefully comforting. "We'd best move along for now."

The irony is that the more physically imposing man is more susceptible to pushing. Potemkin is so submissive, he doesn't consider this treatment as something on the fault of others. All that's in his mind is embarrassment that he keeps bumping into people.

He feels someone's hand deliberately wrapping around his arm immediately because how different it is from all the other impersonal touches. When he sees who it is, Ky's efforts at supporting him seem to do their job, since he becomes still completely. Though Ky can't feel it through his arm, Potemkin warms up slightly at his face too.

Without any words he nods and stays by Ky.

As they take their walk across the wide road, Ky's hold on Potemkin never relents. Actually, it becomes more firm and protective as his knightly instincts kick in. Were these people as careless with others as they were with Potemkin? Were the elderly or injured ignored as well? All these people surrounding them in this city, and yet they were on their own. Everyone was in their own world.

Maybe this was why the Gear rebellion caught humankind so off-guard. Perhaps the possibility of a resistance never truly entered the researchers' world.

Ky still doesn't release Potemkin's arm, even when they reach the other side. He continues walking with Potemkin close by, at a more relaxed pace, once they've safely cleared the road.

"...there's a lot of people here." His voice is a bit distant. Musing. "I suppose we can say with confidence that Neo New York is not historically accurate."

Since Ky doesn't let go of his arm, the heat doesn't go away either. In fact, it gradually intensifies. Ky always extended his help no matter how he tried to turn him away in the past. He's become accepting of that by now. But this time, they're in public among an entire crowd of strangers, not a small community where everyone knew each other, and the level of commitment feels different. They might even look like... a couple.

At least Potemkin's blush is subtle. If he could turn red, nobody would be able to miss that.

"Yes, little knowledge of that place has transferred over," he says distantly for his own reasons.

Thoughts of leaning into Ky or putting his own hand over his flash briefly in his head despite his judgement, but ultimately he keeps his posture the same until the park comes into view. It's nothing world-renowned or famous, but it's a refreshing area of green that a great deal of people are already enjoying.

Edited (missing dialogue tag) 2017-01-07 01:36 (UTC)

The green they are approaching is already a relieving sight to Ky, and Potemkin might be able to feel it just by the way his hold relaxes. It's already good to see a place mostly visited by people and families, rather than vehicles. Although, people certainly look just as busy here as anywhere else in the city. There's something a little funny about Ky, of all people, to note that people seem quite busy even in an area meant for leisure.

"Perhaps it was for the best," Ky says idly as they move closer to the park entrance. He releases Potemkin's arm to read the small sign nearby, declaring the name of the park.

Ky releasing his arm means Potemkin's mind is freed up to think again. Potemkin is still a good amount taller than Ky, so he can look over his head to see what he's staring at, then turn down to look at the back of Ky's head without the man being any the wiser. He has some time to think of what to do next.

This is getting ridiculous. He's increasing the priority of his goal of admitting his feelings to do-or-die levels. If he ends this day without that happening, it'll be a permanent shame on himself. It'll stay in his memories as a sign of his lack of discipline.

That doesn't have to precede getting further into their walk however. Potemkin moves his gaze from Ky and points far in a different direction, arm passing straight over Ky's shoulder by a couple feet, to a park map.

"There is a map. This park seems to be structured around a couple paths."

"Oh." Ky straightens up to look over in that direction.

He walks over to the map, trusting Potemkin will follow. He looks it over for a moment before suggesting, "Shall we follow this one?"

He points to one that moves into the park (rather than around it). It doesn't look too short or too long, which is good for a casual stroll that is half-leisure and half-getting used to their new home.

Potemkin leans in to look at the line that's under Ky's finger. He spends a moment there, leaning forward and eyes fully opened like he's making a thorough analysis of the choice of path. It seems to be a little much when he springs back and answers quite casually:

"Yes, that's fine."

Even if it's a busy park, it's nothing compared to the rush and confusion in the city, so Potemkin moves around a lot more relaxed. Though still he hangs close to Ky he's not attached to him any more.

The proximity doesn't go without notice, but Ky doesn't mind it at all. He gives Potemkin an encouraging glance before returning his attention to the walk through the park, allowing himself to be at ease. It's nice to be out here, actually. Better than being lost in thought in a small apartment. Out here, at least he can focus on some light physical activity to keep him preoccupied.

...that doesn't stop his thoughts, though. Ky has never been known to completely 'shut off', and that still held true even at the Fortress Between. He goes quiet as they walk, half-observing the people around them, half-thinking about what other steps they need to take in order to settle into their new home.

It's a good environment for mental list-sorting and note-taking despite the background noise of other people. The relatively open space seems to allow thoughts to flow out compared to being surrounded by buildings tall enough to block the sky.

Even the crowd starts to become less of a factor, since as the two of them make their way deeper into the trail, the people gradually start to thin out. The other parkgoers become more spaced out, and move quieter, the ones who have walked this far must have been much the same way as them. Potemkin looks up to the tops of trees where the sunlight is filtering in. Despite being a public place Potemkin feels like he has some sanctity of privacy here.

Ky remains quiet during their walk, keeping his thoughts to himself. Outside of this park, he was so convinced that the city was impossible to mute. But here he's proven wrong again... thankfully. He supposes it might not be too bad to start doing this more often, if only to keep from going mad from every little thing that picks at his consciousness. Like the local Fable government. Or the general inefficiency and disorganization of his workplace. And the lack of answers regarding their friends and allies.

No, wait, there he goes again. Ky gives his head a brief shake as they walk. Not now.

Edited (wrong icon) 2017-01-20 05:17 (UTC)

They're both quiet for a length of time, which lets Potemkin collect himself. He's not any better at relaxing than Ky though. Instead of unwinding, though, Potemkin feels a tense energy build up inside him, which goads him to take action instead of sitting on his heels. The more time goes on, the more he's reassured that he can do it, say something and be prepared for whatever consequence. Finally he does speak up, but as soon as it's out of his mouth his confession loses its directness.

"Ky, I want you to know I care about you..."

Ky blinks, very nearly missing what was said. It takes a moment for his brain to catch up, but even then he doesn't quite understand what prompted Potemkin to say such a thing. Without stopping in his tracks, he looks over to Potemkin with an expression that borders confusion.

"I beg your pardon?"

Now that he's hearing himself he's not sure what else he was expecting. The sentence is so vague he wouldn't know what to get from that either. What a disgrace on him, to fail at communication like this. Potemkin inhales and exhales, like recovering from a bad start in some physical exertion, and tries again.

"After all this time that's passed, the past we've shared as comrades, I came to know more about you... so because of that, the way I thought of you has changed," Potemkin continued on. His voice slows down more and more out of his control, until by the end it's like he's picking out the words individually. "I...I have an obligation to let you know."

Ky's pace slows as Potemkin hesitantly continues his explanation. His gaze never leaves the other man's face, though his eyes gradually widen in surprise. This is some kind of confession, isn't it? Although Potemkin doesn't use any direct terms of endearment, he does seem to be speaking of some level of affection for Ky. That is, at least, the message Ky's getting. Caring for an ally or friend is not particularly confession-worthy, so Potemkin must be speaking of something more.

"Do you mean to say," he asks cautiously, "that you are fond of me in a manner that is beyond friendship?"

See, Potemkin isn't the only one who can tiptoe around certain words.

So Ky is capable of picking up on things after all. Potemkin had been able to hide this for so long it comes as a surprise now. Time has froze for Potemkin, and while he can't manage to keep stepping forward, he can return Ky's look at him. It's by the willpower he has so much pride in that he's facing Ky straight on, and it's this power he calls upon to stay neatly composed to say this. Or so he hopes.

"Yes...My entire life I have never wanted someone. I thought myself immune to the mistakes of falling in love. And in arrogance I believed that's how it should be. But - when I got closer to you and felt more of your kindness, I changed despite everything I knew."

"These feelings go beyond respect, they are...needier and took me a long time to understand. But you should know what I do now. I, Potemkin, confirm that - " Potemkin falters with emotion, his discipline cracking . "I...I love you."

Ky doesn't even know what to say.

He's stunned, rendered still in his tracks when Potemkin stops to continue his confession. He doesn't know what to do. What righteous man wouldn't be touched by such genuine words from someone he's grown close to? Why wouldn't he feel something in his chest, heavy and familiar? Potemkin's confession breaks open the barriers holding back the fondness he holds for the people he cares about, a fondness that had grown inappropriately intimate during his stay at the Fortress Between. That trust, closeness, and affection that a married man should never feel for someone other than his wife. He had thought he could avoid it here.

Maybe it was a foolish desire. No problems could be truly solved by running away from them. He knows that very well.

"...I see." He sounds surprisingly neutral as his brain processes this information. He doesn't know what to do. "Thank you for telling me. I had no idea— I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable at any time in the past."

Because, now that he's thinking about it, the arm touching probably didn't help Potemkin's willpower any.

Uncomfortable? Secret crush or not, Potemkin is still assertive enough on behalf of his own wellbeing to have said something if he truly didn't want...

Ahem. Potemkin is getting flustered when there are other things to process. Such as Ky's face. Before he had realized he was doing it Potemkin had been paying rapt attention to how Ky looked in front of him, out of a desperate attempt to read any sort of reaction from him. Now that he can see shock and bewilderment, he feels foolish. He chatises himself for thinking there was anything to expect in the first place, let alone form hopes.

Deep down he would have liked to see his smile.

Potemkin collects himself enough while Ky is talking so he's ready to speak calmly again.

"I could tell you didn't." Oh he knew that very well. "Do not take this as me asking anything from you. There is nothing you have to give."

"Please don't say that." Ky says, brows furrowing with concern. Concern with what, he's not sure. He lifts his hand as if to reach out for Potemkin, but abandons the action halfway through. Instead, he pulls it back to clutch his fist against his chest.

He should tell Potemkin. He told Sol, who didn't know at the time and deserved to understand the complications their involvement brought. He told Saoirse, who was affectionate nonetheless and tried to show him that fondness for one didn't mean diminished fondness for another. But Potemkin... Ky had been neglectful. He should have told Potemkin long before.

"There is... there is something I can give, but it might not be appropriate." He glances down in shame before focusing on Potemkin again. "No, I should say... don't know if you would find it appropriate."

Ky's gaze remained firm, dropping his hand. "Potemkin. I have a wife and child."

For a moment Potemkin is a government agent again, filing a piece of intelligence. It is immediately obvious why the First King having a covert spouse and offspring is something he's never heard of.

As a man, though, Potemkin is struck with a hurt that goes through his entire body, passing straight through his heart and landing at his feet on the ground. Because of who or what is a question the answers for disgust him. He would have scowled at his own emotions, but that would be interpreted wrong.

"That is something crucial," Potemkin tries to sound controlled but the strain tightens his voice. "You must have been suffering so much more than I knew," he says much more softly. Everyone had lost something, but now Potemkin realizes Ky feels the loss of a family

Ky gives Potemkin a soft and sad smile. Oh, how he appreciates Potemkin's consideration. Instead of openly expressing what Ky expected to be disappointment, he expresses empathy for Ky's situation instead.

"Perhaps," he answers, "but we all suffered losses in one way or another. And we all had to adjust to our new homes together. I'm grateful to have met people who were so understanding."

For the most part, at least. But he knows Potemkin is well aware.

"And I'm grateful to have met people like you, who supported me during difficult times."

"You're being too self-sacrificing again," Potemkin turns Ky down lightly. What he says is technically true, and nobody would say Potemkin didn't deeply feel the loss of Zepp, down to the level of his very being, but the bond between the family one started is just different. Ky shouldn't bring his pain to be equal with everyone else just like that.

He's scolding Ky, but this is only getting into what he finds attractive about him. His over-honed sense of responsibility is just one trait of his Potemkin became very familiar with. Potemkin's eyes widen suddenly, before he looks resigned. Already he can tell these feelings are not going to pass just because he let them out.

"But, if I did do some good, despite my ignorance, I am happy."

Edited (finishing a sentence) 2017-01-26 04:21 (UTC)

"You're understating the impact of your support," Ky parries back with amusement. "If I had been alone in that land, faced with such limited options along with the loss of my family, I don't know what I would have been able to do."

It's a rough thing to admit, but it's true. He just doesn't know how far he would've gone if there was no goal in sight. Hope was all that held him together, and Potemkin's appearance gave him just that ‐ the hope that they would all be able to see each other again.

"Potemkin," he addresses in a more solemn tone. "I'm sorry I don't have a better response to your confession. But please know this: I don't think any less of you for telling me the truth. Nor am I adverse to the thought of being with you. However, as you can imagine, I—"

Ky can't quite finish his sentence. He doesn't know how to feel about this, and doesn't know how to feel about his own muddled feelings. This is something that should have a crystal clear answer, and yet... here he is.

Potemkin doesn't need Ky to go all the way to the end. He nods and speaks up before he finishes.

"No, I am thankful that you've been so...understanding, all things considered."

Courtship would have been one thing (even if the practice is intimidating for him in sheer alienness), changing Ky's mind is completely out of the question with that motivation.

"We each know more and can do better moving forward," Potemkin tries to put an optimistic spin of the lack of answers in sight. "I will understand if you don't want to room together anymore," he addresses one issue that will become apparent very soon. As soon as their walk is over.