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Who: Theseus, Venti
When: AU

Where: Venti's place?

What: Theseus is a cow

[The first offense that Theseus took was that the price he was purchased at was not high enough.

That was only the start of the litany of complaints that he had about his new change of scenery. The bed was but a thin plank, and the quality of the food was not up to standard. It may not be his place for him, a pet, to notice, but how could he not? He had only ever been owned by powerful lords and kings before. He knew nothing less and expected nothing more.

Perhaps the number of his previous owners was a sign of its own.

But it is no mystery why Theseus continued to enchant people regardless of any issues to be had with him. He's a beautiful pet, with golden fur that covered velvety ears and a whiplike tail, handsome face crowned with sheer white horns. He came clothed in delicate jewelry that hid little of his body, the practicality of which made it clear that those muscles were for love not labor. Theseus was spoken to be touched by the divine, one destined for greatness, who had been separated from his mortal mother from birth to be trained for the lap of luxury.

A gurgle breaks out and not from his stomach. Haughtiness and pointed neglect of all his surroundings meant it's been few days since he had been properly milked. Even when barely touching his food Theseus is a prodigious producer and never quit. Swollen breasts gently slosh atop his chest. Theseus scowls and adjusts his arms which he holds close to himself for support. He already has no lack of inconveniences.]

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[ In many ways, getting Theseus at the price he did was a steal--not the least of which because he may have forged a signature or two on the bill. Honestly, he'd bought the cow more as a joke than anything. What would Zhongli think when he found himself footed for a bill for a cow of all things? It'd be good for a laugh at the very least.

Until then, he now has a cow. A cow he didn't exactly prepare for before bringing home, but sometimes even the best-laid plans don't always turn out the way you intend so it's fine. It's Fine. His brand-new cow is quite funny, actually. Very stubborn. And proud. And loud when it comes to voicing his complaints.

Venti thinks he certainly must have been someone's pet before this, and they utterly spoiled him. He did come with a lot of certifying paperwork after all. There's no doubt as to the quality of his breed or physical prowess; Theseus is the perfect picture of...well, perfection.

No stranger to being spoiled himself on the right occasion, Venti can sympathize. It's nice to have nice things! He just...doesn't. But Venti has hopes that today might yet prove to be the day that his picky cow makes some concessions as he opens the door, humming a jovial tune. ]

Yoo-hoo~ Good morning~ How's my favourite grumpy boy today? Ready to be good and let me milk you yet?

[Grumpy! The nerve of this man to go with such flippant language! When Theseus has already expressed in no uncertain terms the severity of his grievances. Theseus sticks his nose up, demonstrating his level of cooperativeness today.] Hmph! I see you are no more proper than before.

[He's dodging the question. The truth is he can't go without a milking for much longer. Any later and he'll go mad. Already the urge is irritatingly distracting to his thoughts. But the thought of having to be milked by this graceless man is not one he'll acknowledge right now.]

Have you thought about beginning to make up for yourself today?

Make up for myself? Now whyever would I need do such a thing? I don't recall flinging any slights your way, my beautiful bosom bovine. I've provided you with perfectly amenable room and board.

[ ...For someone as dirt-poor as Venti, but he may or may not have been hoping that a milking bull with such fine a pedigree as Theseus could help in that regard, if the picky thing could be coaxed. ]

Amenable?! These foul conditions wouldn't be amenable to a lowly mongrel!

[Theseus shrieks at Venti. Since this slow-witted dullard apparently hasn't gotten the hint yet, the time for subtleties is over. But whatever the reason, at least his full attention is on Venti now.]

It's an insult that you expect me to bear such circumstances, let alone provide in them! [This is a lie. He is demonstrably still capable of providing while living like this, as his chest has shown.]

[ He is very demonstrably capable. Venti wagers if he just gave the swollen nubs there the tiniest of plucks, milk would spring forth all on its own.

Such a stubborn bull.

Venti sighs. The smile never leaves his face. ]

Come now~ Wouldn't it feel better if you were to be milked? It must be quite unpleasant for you right now.

[ Venti leans over the edge of the fence on his elbows and grins. ]

Allow me to shower you in my affections by way of apology♥

Nonsense, there is nothing I stand to gain from you laying your unclean hands on m -

[Theseus goes on again, but this time he interrupts himself with a groan. His chest is indeed painfully sensitive, and all this yelling and protesting is causing him to move around too hard. He stays himself for a moment, waiting for all the jiggling to subside.

His immobility leaves him unable to move away from Venti.]

[ Kind, doting Venti, who is only too happy to help his obstinate bull. Conscious as he is of Theseus's size, he's confident enough in his own abilities not to worry as he scoots his way into the bull's space. It's easy to duck under Theseus's arms and peer up into that bountiful chest.

From this angle he can see how swollen and heavy they are, filled to bursting. It must be uncomfortable. The bull's stubbornness is commendable, if misplaced. ]

There, there... It's alright. Let me take care of you.

[ Mindful of their tenderness, Venti reaches up to lay one soft hand over the swollen mound of one breast, thumb resting just below one rosy nipple. ]

What are you -

[After he scurries out of sight Theseus quickly looks around for Venti, eventually finding him beneath and past his own chest. Theseus glares down at him. He dwarfs Venti in height and muscle mass, he could easily throw him off him, just by lowering his arms and grabbing hold of him. But the feathery touch on his chest is so intense (and pleasurable) that it overwhelms everything else. Theseus seizes on the spot. His nipple, distinct from the rest of his chest, stands out as a point of sensitivity and vulnerability, standing out completely exposed.]

Ahh! [Uncontrollably Theseus lets out a melodious moan.]

[ Just as he thought. Silly, stubborn bull. All this discomfort... It must be awful to put up with. If only he'd let Venti tend to him sooner.

Ah, well. ]

There, there... It's okay. I'll take good care of you.

[ He soothes the poor bull, voice as sweet like honey as he gives another gentle squeeze of his palms; a coaxing motion, to help with the tenderness and relax the muscles. Theseus is so obviously swollen he wonders if he'll be able to get anything at first, but...well, there's only one way to find out, isn't it?

His gaze locks with Theseus's as he pushes up on his toes and leans in. Soft lips part and warm breath wafts over one rosy-red bud; it's only a second later before his tongue peeks out and he lets it flick out over the swollen nipple, wetting it. ]

Nnng, you...

[Even now Theseus still has words for his carefree owner. But they come out strained, with difficulty, between jaw clenches and hot breaths. And they're becoming fewer and fewer, eventually replaced by a steely look directed straight at Venti. (But there's a limit to how cold Theseus can look when he's flushed red.)

More moans. Theseus keens and whines as Venti massages his pecs, the touch being desired and unwanted at the same time. His body craved this, but the contact is overwhelming in its magnitude, like feeling the full force of the sun after darkness. He makes a few futile squirms underneath Venti's hands, but he can't get far like this.

Theseus gasps when that warm, wet tongue laps over his nipple. Reflexively, uncontrollably, a drop leaks from the tip.]

Mmhmmmm...?

[ Venti drawls that sound out on purpose. Theseus looks so cute like this, all frustrated and stubborn despite how honest his body is. Venti smooths his hands over the bull's swollen chest both to sooth and to tease. If he wanted to, he's certain Theseus could pick him up and fling him out of his pen if he wanted. Instead, he makes only the barest attempts of escape from the bard's touch.

The reception he receives to a mere lick convinces him of his course of action though, and without hesitation Venti parts his lips to catch that sweet droplet and latches on, giving the softest of suckles. ]

[The first drop was stingy, meager, the sum total results of an inch of relenting. It could barely be tasted, more felt in its warmth on the tongue. But Venti doesn't stop there. The continuing pressure on Theseus' nipple draws out another drop, and then a steady stream. Theseus' milk is divine, of course, rich and sweet and worth all the difficulty of its source on its own. But it comes out all too slowly out of Theseus' gently massaged breast.

In the meantime Theseus has stopped seriously resisting. Rather than push Venti away Theseus stretches his arms out uselessly, unsure of where to put them. His mouth hangs open, closes, and opens again, as he tries to stay upright while he's nursed. ]

Urgh...

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